Through The Eyes of a Child or The Circle Game
by Marie S Zachary
Summary: After the bombing a very pregnant Trudy is in surgery. Marsha and Dwight and Adrian are in the hospital waiting room. Marsha and Dwight have memories of her childhood. Will Trudy survive. Will her baby suvive? Read and find out.


* Many of the memories were inspired by stories my friend told me about his daughter

It all started with a song. It was one of their favorite songs. She had loved it ever since she was a little girl. Hearing this song now brought back memories of her daughter… of their daughter. At that point they needed to hear this song because their daughter was in the hospital with 3rd degree burns all over her and in emergency surgery to save her and the daughter inside her.

_**Yesterday a child came out to wonder**_

_ Dwight, Marsha and 3 year old Trudy went to the mall. Their daughter always loved going into the pet shop. That day she saw the most adorable puppy. _

"_Look at her with this puppy;" Marsha whispered to Dwight, "she seems to be crazy about her."_

"_How do you know it's a girl puppy," Dwight asked _

"_Because the collar's pink," Marsha explained, "they have blue collars for boy dogs and pink collar's for girl dogs"_

"_Oh I see"_

"_I think we should get her the dog," Marsha added_

_ Dwight hesitated for a nanosecond but he looked at his daughter playing and giggling like he had not seen before in a couple of weeks. She'd been going through a bit of a rough spell, seen something that freaked her out. _

_ "Sure," he said and his wife kissed him._

"_I'm so glad we're the way we are," she told him_

"_Me too," he told her sincerely. _

_ It was so easy for his wife to be positive. It seemed to come so natural for her and yet for him it wasn't so easy at times. _

"_Here Peaches," Trudy giggled._

"_Peaches? How did you come up with the name Peaches sweetie," Marsha asked_

"_Oh that's a'cause she keeps playing wif her peach toy," she explained in all of her 3-year-old logic tossing the toy again._

"_I think Peaches is the perfect name," Dwight told her._

"_I wish she was mine," Trudy said with a sigh_

"_Do you think you're ready for a puppy?"_

"_Yes-huh," Trudy exclaimed excitedly._

"_Excuse me ma'am," Dwight called to the saleswoman, "we'd like to buy this puppy"_

_ Trudy squealed with excitement. It was like the past two weeks were erased. _

"_If you three want to get lunch," the saleswoman offered, "I can keep Peaches until you come back"_

"_Doesn't Peaches need to eat too," Trudy asked innocently_

"_Yeah," Marsha answered_

"_So shouldn't we take Peaches wif us?"_

_ So Dwight, Marsha, Trudy and Peaches ended up sharing burgers and French fries in the food court. Most adults would have been annoyed at sharing their food with a dog but it made their daughter laugh and giggle in delight and they felt it was worth it._

End Flashback

Dwight looked at Adrian who was visibly shaken. He looked like he was going to throw up.

"Adrian," Dwight said firmly, "look at me"

Adrian looked up to meet his father-in-law's gaze.

"She's going to make it," he told him, "I know my daughter… she always bounces back"

_**Caught a dragon-fly inside a jar**_

_Now their little girl was six years old. Peaches got sick and died. Trudy was clearly devastated and her parents felt so helpless. _

"_Daddy where is Peaches now," Trudy asked_

"_Peaches is in heaven honey," Dwight explained, "You'll see her again one day in a long, long, long, long time"_

"_I miss her," the little girl said_

"_I know sweetheart," Dwight replied, "but it's going to be okay. Remember how much she was hurting the past couple of days?"_

"_Yeah. I couldn't even pet her"_

"_Right and now she's not hurting anymore"_

_ Then night when Dwight got home from work he found a very different Trudy then the one she had been for four days. She ran to him excitedly._

"_Hi daddy," she exclaimed excitedly_

"_Hey sweetheart," Dwight replied picking her up, "what have you been up to today"_

"_Oh I had the goodest idea," Trudy began excitedly, "it's about bears that talk and they gotta solve morwal problems and it's called morwal bears. Here I wrotted a script for the idea. Want to see it?"_

_ Dwight didn't say anything when he took it. He was impressed that his daughter was so clever._

_ "What's going on," Marsha asked as she got home from shopping._

"_Our daughter," Dwight told her, "is writing scripts"_

"_What," Marsha laughed, "can I see that"_

"_Sure," he replied and handed it to her._

_Most parents would ohh and ahh about something their children did._

_ There was nothing wrong with that. Marsha however didn't just____ohh and ahh. No, she took it one step further._

"_Trudy this is incredible," she told her daughter_

"_Do you really think so," the child asked excitedly._

_ "I know so," Dwight agreed with his wife._

"_You know," Marsha said, "I think that "we" just found "our" new TV show"_

_Dwight looked at his wife like 'you have got to be kidding'. She had nothing to do with that field and Dwight could see the script was good but it wasn't professional good. She was six… who can do that at six._

_ Looking at his daughter he could see that she was beaming. _

"_Honey," Dwight said, "how about you wash your hands and we'll go out for a Happy Meal for dinner._

"_YAY!," Trudy exclaimed bouncing off to wash her hands._

_As soon as she was out of an earshot Dwight looked at his wife. _

"_Honey," he said, "you know that I love you, but did you really have to say that in front of her?"_

"_Dwight you saw the look on her face. She hasn't smiled since Peaches died"_

"_I know," Dwight said, "and I'm not saying it's a bad idea but it's not exactly practical"_

"_Some things don't have to be," Marsha explained, "some things just are"_

_Dwight sighed because he knew that once his wife made up her mind about something it was a done deal._

"_I could even see her playing BERRY SWEET BEAR because she's BERRY sweet"_

_Dwight couldn't resist smiling. In the distance he barking… and raised an eyebrow._

"_Peaches' mom had a new litter," Marsha explained, "so I-"_

"_You know what," Dwight said squeezing the rubber band on his wrist, "you're just lucky I love you"_

"_Don't tell her about it," Marsha said, "the puppy I mean. I want to surprise her."_

"_You're pretty good at that," he laughed_

"_Good at what?"_

"_At surprising people," he laughed again_

_Trudy came back excitedly_

"_Okay," she said, "I washed my hands and they're all clean"_

"_Honey before we go to dinner," Marsha said, "I have a surprise for you"_

"_I love surprises," she exclaimed, her eyes wide_

"_I know you do," Marsha laughed, "okay go look in the car"_

_Trudy opened the door and saw a puppy that looked like a smaller version of Peaches_

_ "PEACHES," she exclaimed_

"_Actually that's Peaches' little sister"_

"_Oh I love her," Trudy exclaimed as the dog kissed her all over, "I think I'm gonna call her Ginger"_

"_That's a cute name"_

"_Thanks mommy," Trudy exclaimed and started playing fetch with Ginger._

_ Trudy was having such a great time playing with Ginger they didn't get to eating until 10 o'clock at night. That night while Dwight and Marsha were in bed Dwight started laughing_

"_What—what's so funny," Marsha asked_

"_Not funny," Dwight said, "but it's so beautiful to see things through her eyes. Normally I'm so concerned about what's practical, and what's logical. This isn't about facts and about what makes sense. This is about what people enjoy. It's not about what is… it's about what could be"_

"_That's exactly what it is," Marsha said, "it's about fun. It's about laughter and it's about family" _

_Dwight wasn't sure what she meant at first but then he understood._

"_You know what," he said, "you're right. It is about family."_

_End Flashback_

"GOD what's taking so long," Adrian exclaimed frustrated.

"It has only been a few minutes," Marsha said soothingly

"I know but it seems like forever. GOD I feel like this is all my fault"

"DON'T do this to yourself," Marsha firmly intoned, "she's going to need our strength and support"

_**Fearful when the sky was filled with thunder**_

_ When Trudy was 5 she started to get sick. One night when Dwight and Marsha were laying in bed Marsha finally expressed her fears._

"_Dwight," she said, "I'm really worried about Trudy. She doesn't seem to be recovering quickly when she gets sick and this morning she bumped her knee on the table and there's a huge bruise from it."_

_Dwight put an arm around his wife._

_ "It's probably just an iron deficiency," he said, "or capillary fragility but we should take her to the pediatrician tomorrow just to be sure"_

"_I was going to take her tomorrow"_

"_No __**we're **__going to take her. If it is serious this isn't something you should be facing alone"_

_The doctor ran a blood test on her… using a baby butterfly needle so she didn't even feel it._

"_Come back at the end of the day," he told them, "we'll have the results for you back then"_

"_Can we go get a Happy Meal," Trudy asked excitedly_

"_Sure sweetie," Dwight and Marsha agreed. _

"_After that why don't we go to Fairy Tale Island," Marsha decided. _

_Fairy Tale Island was Trudy's favorite amusement park._

_ "We can," Trudy exclaimed_

"_Of course," Dwight said, "but we need to stay on the slow ride because-"_

"_You don't have to explain why daddy," Trudy said, "whenever you say something it's in my own best interest and I trust you 100%"_

"_Are you sure this child is only 5," the doctor whispered to Marsha, "because that did not sound like something a five year old would say"_

"_Our five year old," Dwight explained, "is not like most five-year-olds"_

"_Yeah I figured that out," the doctor laughed_

_ After a full day they went back to the doctor who took Dwight and Marsha aside._

"_Her White Blood Count is way high up," he explained, "she has PALL. It's Pre Leukemia and if it's not fixed now it will turn to deadly leukemia. She's going to need to go into the hospital tonight and she's going to need a 6 week round of chemotherapy and P.H.B therapy-"_

"_Wait—what therapy," Dwight asked_

_The doctor explained it to him. _

"_We caught it on time," the doctor explained, "so it's not going to be fatal but there will be days where she's sick as a dog and there will not be an ounce of her that isn't sore"_

"_Wait… what! You're going to-"_

_Marsha was clearly getting hysterical._

"_We have to in order to kill the cells that can kill her," the doctor explained, "she'll be asleep while it's happening of course so she won't actually feel it while it's happening but when she wakes up"_

_ The doctor's were right but Trudy's spirits were high. Even when she was throwing up and in so much pain it brought her to tears she just told them, "it's okay mommy… don't worry daddy. I'll be okay. This is helping me get better."_

_The treatments ended on Christmas when they got the best gift of all. Not a trace of the cancer cells could be found. _

"_See," she told them, "it was all worth it" _

End Flashback

"How did you handle it," Adrian asked, "when she was sick? Didn't it… didn't you feel like it was tearing you apart?"

"GOD did it ever," Marsha said, "and it wasn't in the plans. I'll tell you… she was stronger then us throughout the whole thing"

"Yeah that's Trudy for ya," Dwight added, "she definitely got that positivity from her mom"

"Positive," Marsha intoned, "I was anything but. I came unglued when I found out what they had to do to her."

"Yeah so did I," Dwight admitted, "but you were still the strong one."

"Trudy was the strong one," Marsha intoned firmly.

_**And Tearful At the Falling Of a Star**_

_The 3 of them were outside looking up at the stars._

"_I don't believe it," Dwight exclaimed, "look it's a falling star"_

_ Trudy began tearing up._

"_Honey," Dwight asked, "what's wrong baby girl"_

"_But if the star falls," Trudy cried, "won't it hurt itself"_

_Stifling a laugh Marsha knelt to her daughter's level._

"_Oh honey," she explained, "no a falling star is just an expression. It's supposed to be a lucky thing. If you make a wish on the falling star it's supposed to come true"_

"_Oh," Trudy nodded as if she understood, "can I make a wish"_

"_Sure," Marsha said, "just close your eyes and make your wish"_

_End Flashback_

A doctor came out.

"Mr. Monk?"

"Right here," Adrian motioned, "how is she?"

"We'll know more after the surgery is over but I want you to know that she made it through the worst of it"

"So she's going to be okay?"

"She's not going to die if that's what you mean," the doctor responded, "but we may have to deliver the baby earlier then we hoped."

"Could the baby survive at this point?"

"She probably will," the doctor said, "but we're hoping to keep her inside your wife for at least another few weeks. By than her lungs will be fully developed… so there won't be much of a problem."

"You sound like you're hesitating about something," Monk noted, "unless I'm wrong which… you know I'm not"

The doctor sighed.

"Yes well here's the thing. Because of the situation Trudy's system is very weak. We had to remove the monitor to keep it from causing more damage to her system but it may be too late."

"Too late!"

"We may have to remove her leg"

"What does it depend on?"

"It depends on if we can reverse the damage"

"Will you be able to?"

"It's 90% chance we can save it

_**Then the child moved 10 times round the sessions**_

_ As she grew Trudy became more and more gentle and more and more loving. One day she was at school and her mother was picking her up. She saw one of her friends being picked on. Katie was always being picked on. For some reason she seemed to be an easy target and Trudy was NOT going to stand for it any more._

"_HEY," she yelled, "BACK OFF. STOP PICKING ON HER. IF YOU NEED SOMEONE TO PICK ON YOU CAN PICK ON ME BUT I'M TIRED OF PEOPLE PICKING ON HER"_

"_Just who do you think you're talking to," the aggressor asked in a bullying way._

"_I don't need to think," Trudy came back, "I'll tell you who I'm talking to. I'm talking to a bitter, nasty scared person who can't admit that she's got some serious issues. You're a bully and a coward. Why don't you try expressing yourself like a normal person for once? Oh wait… I forgot! You can't act normal because you're NOT normal."_

"_That's not very nice," the aggressor intoned_

"_I know it's not," Trudy acknowledged, "and when you're very nice to my friend I'll be very nice to you"_

_Trudy came home that day with a black eye but her friend was not picked on again. That made it all worth it in her eyes. _

_End Flashback_

"I still feel like this is my fault," Adrian mused, "we had a disagreement a couple of days ago. She was upset with me"

"People disagree," Marsha told him calmly, "that doesn't mean it's your fault. People get upset with each other. Do you have any idea how many time's I've gotten upset with my husband?"

"You've gotten upset with each other?"

"Of course but that doesn't mean we don't love each other," Dwight replied, "Do you really think I was happy when she said in front of our six year old the comment about that script. It was really good but it wasn't professional good"

"She was six honey. I don't think there is a six-year-old that can write professionally good"

"Thank you," Dwight replied, "that's my point. Do you think I didn't love her just because she and I had a disagreement?"

Dwight put an arm around his wife.

"No of course not"

"Of course not is right. She's my world, but she's still human and so am I. There's no such thing as a perfect person"

"Trudy's perfect," Monk insisted

"That may be," Dwight replied, "but she's still human. When she was little and she was sick or hot or tired or cranky she would have her share of temper tantrums"

"Well that's something any child might do"

"But she was easily calmed. It was always easy to tell what was on her mind. She always made it clear what she was thinking."

"I can vouch for that," Monk said laughing, "she never hesitates to share her opinion and she say it in a way that is so clear what she thinks is the right answer there's no room for debate."

"That's one of the **many **things I love most about her"

_**Skated over 10 clear frozen streams**_

_When Dwight got home that night he immediately noticed his daughter had a black eye. _

"_Honey what happened," he asked her._

"_What happened is I got good and tired of everyone picking on Katie. Shannon finds any and every excuse in the book to pick on her and it makes me really mad so I told her already to give it a rest and if she has to pick on someone pick on me. She got mad because I called her on what she was doing._

_ Anger flashed in Dwight's eyes. How __**dare **__this person hurt his daughter? Who did this person think she was? Nobody had the right to hurt his daughter. He was going to make sure Shannon knew that what she did was unacceptable. He arranged his face into a genuine smile._

"_I'm so proud of you," he told her, "that was very brave of you to stick up for your friend and to stand up to an older person must have been tough for you."_

"_Why," Trudy asked carefully petting Ginger, "she may have been older but she was acting like a 6 year old. She would make Katie cry every day and for no reason. It's wrong to be mean anyway but it's doubly wrong to be mean for no reason."_

"_It's always wrong to be mean honey."_

_The next day after he dropped Trudy off at school he went at had a talk with Shannon who happened to be the 18 year old student teacher._

"_Hello Mr. Ellison"_

"_Shannon," he acknowledged with a nod, "may I have a word with you?"_

"_I suppose so"_

_ He led her outside so they could talk in private._

"_What the hell were you thinking," he asked, "the way you have been treating my daughter's friend and then what you did to my daughter yesterday"_

"_Your daughter had the nerve to challenge me when I was dealing with another child"_

_Dwight smiled proudly._

"_Good for her," he said, "that's my girl"_

"_You think its okay for her to be disrespectful to an adult?"_

"_If the adult is disrespectful to her or her friend then yes she has every right to challenge the adult. What's your problem with Katie anyway?" _

"_Katie?"_

"_Yes… my daughter's friend"_

"_Oh… I don't know. There's just something about her I don't like about her"_

"_And there's something I don't like about you," Dwight said standing, "and I'm going to report you to the principal for what you did to my daughter."_

_End Flashback_

Adrian happened to have seen an old friend of his from high school coming in.

"Juan? What are you doing here," he asked him

"My wife is having surgery today," Juan explained, "what are you doing here?"

"Trudy's car was bombed," Adrian answered trying to keep the sorrow out of his voice and failing miserably, "she's in emergency surgery"

"GOD Adrian I'm so sorry. Do they know how she's going to be?"

"She's out of the woods now but they might have to take off her leg. What's wrong with Eva?"

"The doctor's found a large tumor in her stomach and she's pregnant with our son"

"First child?"

"No. We have a 7 year old daughter Yvonne. Mariah is caring for her and watching over things until Eva has healed."

"Trudy's pregnant too with our daughter."

"We're naming our son Rusty"

"Rusty?"

"It was our three-year-old niece's idea. Angel's been watching Starlight Express and she fell in love with the name Rusty so she started calling her cousin Rusty. What are you guys naming your daughter?"

"Trudy picked out the name Faith. I wanted to spell it F a t h but Trudy put her f o o t down with that"

"Sounds like Eva," Juan said, "whenever I make a decision I have to run it by her first to make sure she approves and if she tells me to do something I'd better do it"

"Trudy's not like that," Adrian insisted, "she and I are equals. It's just that there are some things that she's firm about"

"I know," Juan said, "I was joking but there are things that Eva is firm and insistent about… things that are important to her"

_**Words like "when you're older" must appease her**_

_ "Here Mommy," Trudy said, "I can help you with dinner"_

"_Thank you honey but maybe when you're older."_

"_Mommy I'm older now," she said after about a minute._

_Marsha laughed_

"_Tell you what," she said, "can you pour the things in the measuring cup into the bowl"_

"_Sure," Trudy exclaimed and did it, "can I mix now"_

_Marsha handed her the mixer. _

"_Now Trudy honey be careful and go slow"_

_She did great for the first forty-five seconds and then her hand slipped and the food went everywhere. Trudy was upset but her mother just laughed._

"_It's okay sweetheart," she told her, "those things happen. We'll just clean it up and go to Fun-Land for dinner"_

"_Yay! I love Fun-Land"_

_End Flashback_

Marsha smiled at the memory. Children bounce back a lot quicker then adults do. Things matter to children a lot more then it matters to adults however. One of the lines that drove her crazy when Trudy was a child and she was upset about something was when people would say, "don't worry. It won't matter in 10 years."

They were right. It **won't **matter in 10 years but that doesn't take away from the fact that it matters now. She could never understand how people could be so insensitive.

_It won't matter in 10 years but it matters now, _she would say, _and I'm going to understand that"_

Her friends would tease her a little bit but they would always admit that she was right.

_**And promises of someday make up her dreams**_

_ Ever since she was 7 Trudy wanted to take a trip to Disneyland. She heard about it and how much fun it is but she never said anything. Still her parents found out. One day at dinner her parents announced that the following months they would be would be going to Disneyland._

"_REALLY," she squealed excitedly, "I've been wanting to go for like 3 years. I'm excited"_

_End Flashback_

The doctor came out.

"Okay so I have good news and bad news and good news," the doctor said, "the good news is that the damage done was not as bad as we had feared so we were able to save her leg. The bad news is that we had to deliver the baby via C section. The good news that her lungs were fully developed so there is no problem with her breathing but she's a little smaller then we hoped. Oh and Trudy has a message for you"

"Can't she tell me herself?"

"In a minute," the doctor replied, "she told me to tell you that she's naming the baby Faithe… with an e at the end because she knows that you like things to be even"

_**Sixteen springs and Sixteen Summers Gone Now… Cartwheels turn to car wheels through the town and they tell her take your time it won't be long now… till you drag your feet to slow the circle down. **_

_ Trudy turned sixteen and her parents got her a new car. Not long after that Dwight had had a heart attack. They had recently changed insurance and had no coverage for the operation he needed. The doctor agreed to do it for $60,000. Time was short so Trudy went and sold her car for the money that they needed for her father to survive._

End Flashback

Marsha, Dwight and Adrian each came to see Trudy and the baby. Trudy was lying on the bed feeling **no pain **from the morphine they gave her and thrilled as can be holding the infant.

"Mom, dad, Adrian meet Faithe Gentle"

"Oh honey she is the second most beautiful baby I have ever seen"

"Hey I think she's the **most **beautiful baby," Trudy argued.

"No that would be you. Could I hold her," Marsha asked

"Of course," Trudy handed the baby over to Marsha who passed her to Dwight after a few minutes who passed her over to Adrian who didn't ever want to let her go. Finally the doctor came to take the baby, bathe her and put her in the nursery. Trudy wasn't strong enough for the baby to be in the same room and besides the circumstances prevented it.

When only Adrian and Trudy were alone in the room Adrian kissed her gently.

"I got you a few things," he said handing her, her favorite pillows blankets and about six dozen things he got for her.

"Now the bed is only missing one thing," she told him smiling, "you"

"Not for long," he told her climbing in beside her. They fell asleep in each others arms

_You can't return you can only look behind from where you came_

_And go round and round an round in the circle game_


End file.
